A Life in the Day

I just read this article in the Times of an interview with Alexa Chung to find out what exciting and in no way mundane things she does. This is my version of what she says.

I naturally wake up early, about 11.30am, and the first thing I do is have stagger to the bathroom and have a wee. I can’t actually move in my flat because its full of boxes and bags full of crap that people want to milk my non fame to promote. I complain about recieving all these things, but really, I sell them on eBay. And when I say I sell them, I mean one of my many many assistants. I mean, how else would I afford to pay for them? Sometimes people send me bags and bags full of, well, bags. And that pleases me, because bags are a good thing to sell. But sometimes, people send me fake designer things. Do I look like the sort of girl who would wear fake designer things? And they’re so much more difficult to get rid of. Honestly.

I have a shower, then a bath, and then a shower every morning. Its not that I smell, but I just have to have some things to fill up my day. I mean, lets face it, I don’t really have too much of a job to do, I just wear clothes and allow people to think I chose them myself. You know, like one of those normal people. I have such a hectic schedule of nothingness that I need a stylist, but I *always* decide what I’m going to wear. Its just like when I was 5 years old, and my mum would put together my outfits. Except this time my clothes are more fashionable.
Sometimes people send me things, and I think I hate them, but when my stylist tells me that they are fashionable, and they show me pictures of famous people wearing them, I realise how amazing they are, and wear them with a Chanel suit and a Topshop scarf. Then I get my photo in the press again because I’m such a down to earth high street kinda girl.

Because of my busy busy day of nothing, I forget to eat quite a bit. I have a chef and a nutritionist and this bloke who tells me that my food on my plate is not arranged in the correct way and therefore I can’t actually eat it, but they tell me that I need to eat more (except for the plate man). But if I ate, then I wouldn’t be waiflike. I’d be just average looking. And then noone would take my picture.

I would hate for anyone to complain about me in the press, because I’m a bitch, so I try to please everyone around me. This means I’m often having to do things I don’t like to do, like present music shows on E4. Seriously, no one watches that shit.

I have just moved into my flat, and its so wonderful. I have three wardrobes, and a bedroom full of packing stuff for the eBay thing, but I don’t have the basics like a sieve and a kettle. Maybe thats why I don’t eat.

I go out to events that my agent says I should be seen at, but as soon as my picture is taken, I go home, put my PJ’s on and go on Facebook in bed. My day is so tiring, wearing beautiful clothes and having my photo taken is soooooo exhausting.

I go to sleep about 8pm, because I don’t really have too much stuff to do. Its just so crazy being me!